The Colt, the Cosmos and the King

Flakes of pollen dust the backs of my black gloves like yellow stars. I am floating in a sea of colour: verdant green, bridal white, baby pink, the richest hues of deep purple. My white Arabian's legs are buried in the flowers, and he presses his nose forward, silken lips nibbling at the colourful blooms, a succulent snack. His long, pale mane falls over my hands like sunlight.

Twenty centuries ago, He looks up at the city where it will be finished. The city on the holy mountain, magnificent Zion, in all of her conquered splendor. He has great plans for this city, and not only this weekend. They chased Him out of this place with stones the last time He was here, but there is certainty in His eyes. He knows what He has chosen to do, even if it makes no sense to anyone except the Trinity.

The white Arabian snorts pollen from his wide nostrils and tosses his head, power flexing in his neck like a breaking wave that foams with mane. I giggle like a little girl. It is hard not to be a little girl, here among the flowers on a gleaming horse. Wonder elevates us to the faith of childhood. It makes our souls fall silent.

He tells His disciples about the donkey mare and her colt that stand tied in the village. He knows them well, though His earthly eyes have never been set upon them. He formed the colt inside his mother, the tiny hooves, the long ears, dusted him with soft grey fur and brought him forth into the world. He knows every wrinkle on the velvet muzzle. He watched him take his first wobbling steps, then learn to trot, to canter, to buck cheekily along behind his mother as she works. He tells the disciples what to say, what to do. They are wide-eyed and they are afraid, but they do as He says with an obedience that will come to define them despite the mistakes that lie ahead. It is not why He loves them; it is the product of His love.

I close my legs around my horse's sides and click my tongue. He snorts joyously with the glory of being a horse on an autumn day, and plunges forward. He has to leap to keep his legs from being ensnared by the whippy stems, but leap he does, with no fear, no hesitation. I bury my hands in his mane and feel the surge of his power carry me forward. I cannot stop smiling.

The colt gazes at the disciples with gentle brown eyes as they untie him. He is not a baby anymore; his legs and back hold the sturdiness of stalwart youth, but he has not yet been ridden, nor parted from his mother. The man asks where they are going. The disciples tell him that the Master has need of the colt. The colt knows what they mean, or he would never have left his mother. Nothing can fight like a donkey. But he does not fight. He follows, his long, silken ears tipped quietly to the sides.

The chestnut mare shimmers in the morning light. Her eyes are soft, curious. She nibbles at bits of flowers, then presses her pink nose into my hands and huffs out a break of hot air, fragrant with the cosmos she's just eaten. I run a hand over her scarlet coat. It glows like copper, like something polished, but it is as soft as a summer kiss.

He sees the trust in the eyes of the colt and smiles. If only they could have trusted Him as perfectly as this quiet little beast does, as all beasts do, then He wouldn't have to do this. But they are not beasts; they are made in His image, and He knew this would happen before He formed them from dust and breath. He exists beyond time. He felt the nails in His Hands even as He created them. He touches the soft neck of the donkey, not the velvet nose - He is the One who placed the whiskers there; He knows that the nose is almost painfully sensitive - and the donkey leans into His caress.

My friend is on the grey mare, the dappled one with the flowing white mane and fierce power. Her lavender dress streams over the mare's powerful flanks as they plunge through the flowers. She's laughing, a melodic sound, her face transfixed by the real and pure joy that some women find in the power of horses. Flowers lashed across her hands. Engulfed by the glee of being alive and magnificent, the mare bucks. My friend holds on, still laughing. We're all laughing.

Their cries now are Hosanna. Save us. They are thinking of the guards in red, the ones who watch with narrowed eyes as He rides up to the city gates. He knows that the guards have nothing to do with it, except that they are instruments of what is to come. He is here to save them, and the generations to come, from a far deeper evil. Hosanna. They throw down palm leaves on the road, throw down their garments to line His path. They think He is their King. They do not know how right they are. The palms wave; the garments flutter. The donkey is not afraid. His small round hooves crunch on palms and thud on the brightly colored clothing that should spook him, but he is not spooked. Why would he be? He knows Who is on his back.

In less than one week, that same crowd will have a different chant: Crucify Him. Crucify Him. And they will.

And because of this, we are free. We ride horses through the cosmos and laugh with friends. Our hearts are unfettered because of what He has done, because of His love. We find joy in the beauty around us and in the creatures and the people in our lives.

But we are free to have this joy because He loves us and gave Himself for us.

God is truly good.

All images by Erin Vogler Photography

Easter Festival 2023

 One of the most epic shows in South Africa every year is Toyota Easter Festival. With a massive sponsor and tons of classes across ten days for almost every discipline, Easter Fest is tons of fun, always well supported, and truly feels like a joyous celebration of equestrian sport. I've only actually ridden in it once before - in the show riding on Arwen and two of Thunder's worst Novice tests, back in 2018 - but we go and watch the big showjumping class every year.

We didn't actually plan to return to the Easter Fest show ring this year; I felt I needed to go to a small show at a big venue after the way I choked in the Bob Charter arena on Arwen at Horse of the Year's Supremes. So we entered a small provincial show at one of the big, classy venues (Summit Ridge). They ended up cancelling their show, though, and the only other weekend that worked was last weekend... so Easter Festival it was.

This early in the year, the tests they offered were easy, at least. They had Medium 3 and 4, as well as Novice 3 and 4. I planned to enter Thunder in Medium 3 - we only had one day to devote to showing horses that weekend - and Lancey in the Novice. Then I, uh, totally forgot to enter Lancey. So I paid Kyalami Park's pricey temporary membership to ride one single test. Womp womp. It was for the best, though, since Lancey really hadn't gone well since we got back from East London, while Thunder was being a superstar.

I woke up super early that morning, as I usually do on show days, and went through the test in my head. Weirdly, I didn't feel at all worried about remembering it, maybe because we'd practiced it so many times on Wednesday and Thursday. Still, I couldn't stop thinking about it and could feel my brain going down a bit of a rabbit hole, so I practiced it on The Equestrian Game on my phone. (Don't judge, okay, you are literally nobody in this riding school unless you have The Equestrian Game and I pride myself on being the cool coach). Then I did a spot of Scripture study and was reminded sharply what Easter really is.

We get redemption and eternal life. And we get dancing horses thrown into the deal. In the face of that, what on Earth is there to be nervous about? My stress evaporated, replaced rapidly by excitement. Thunder and I haven't gone out to do dressage since our Medium debut in June 2022, and I was so ready to go out dancing with him again.

Shaila and her kid came too, so at 6:15am on Saturday morning, K, DH and I loaded Shaila and Arwen into our horsebox and headed for Kyalami Park.

We arrived just after 7:30 and unloaded two calm, happy horses. Shaila came to us with very serious loading and traveling issues, and the fact that we can take her to shows stress-free is a huge victory, thanks to a local guy who works with horses who have problems. She's been competing regularly and was very chill when she got out, if a little surprised to find herself somewhere other than Penbritte.

Thunder was a little bouncy when I unloaded him and looked around with interest, but soon settled down to nibble hay while we got Shaila ready. He accompanied us to the warmup arena, and K held him while I read the tests for Shaila's child. Kiddo has a history of performance nerves but did a totally stellar job in the ring and stayed calm for two nice, solid tests. Shaila, too, handled the big atmosphere really well.

Kiddo and her family hung around for the rest of the show day, which was very nice as it liberated K and DH to help me out with Thunder. I gave him some breakfast - running out of energy at a show is the last thing we need - and we slowly started to groom him and make him pretty. Erin arrived at this point, which basically turned the whole thing into a party.

I did pull-through plaits because his mane has gotten too long for buttons. They're a little harder to get really neat (and, to be honest, I sort of didn't get them all that neat lol) but they're very quick and easy to do and hold a lot better than a running plait. K watched and offered unsolicited advice. DH arrived with food, which is one of his singular talents. We had a great time grooming Thunder and being a trio of happy pony girls enjoying ourselves, while DH talked cars with Shaila's kid (who is a 16-year-old girl, but my husband can find common ground with literally anyone).

Then it was 10:20 and time to tack up. We swooned over Thunder's purple stirrups, and I went off to get dressed. When I got back with show clothes on, K and Erin had already finished tacking him up and he was all ready for me. I hopped on and we all hacked over to the warmup together, including Shaila.

We had one little hairy moment as we rode over to the warmup. None of the vendors were open yet (boo!) but they were setting up an enormous white tent behind the clubhouse. As we walked past it, I spotted a guy with a big hammer and a gigantic tent peg, and thought "yep, he's gonna hit it". He hit it with an enormous clang and Thunder almost sat down on his voluptuous bottom in shock. I don't think I even picked up my reins; the big guy gathered himself, took a big breath, and then plodded onwards.

That's not to say that he was a settled and calm Thunderbird when we walked into the warmup. He was SPICY (a sentence I never thought I would write about Thunder). One of us is currently quite fit and had had a day off before, plus a whole morning of just hanging around. He had also decided that Shaila, whom he normally sees only at a distance, was now his One True Love. Separation anxiety used to be a real issue for us at shows, and there was definitely a little of that in play here even though Shaila and her kid were chilling just outside the arena, but he wasn't giving me solely nervous vibes. Nervous, yes, but also frisky and excited.

We proceeded to squeal, whinny and occasionally tantrum our way around the warmup ring for a little while. He did throw a buck or two, and flip his head and shoulders once or twice in protest as I attempted to redirect the enthusiasm, but there was no meanness. I didn't feel like I was going to get dislodged. I was nervous for the first few minutes, but like maybe a 3 out of 5, absolute maximum. He never pulled or threatened to do anything ridiculous. So we just quietly kept on working, and once we had frisked our way through about ten minutes of walk/trot/canter, we were back in business.

He was a tiny bit tense as we finished our warmup, but I did like the energy we had; he was ready to work and happy to have something to do with his brain. I had to remind myself that we haven't been traveling out for lessons, so he hadn't actually gone anywhere since the show in June. It's understandable that he was a bit nervous - and he's never been to this particular arena (the May Foxcroft) at Kyalami Park before.

Anyway, once Erin had tightened my girth and saved me from certain death, and Kathleen had checked that I was allowed a whip because I suddenly had doubts about that for no good reason, we were heading up to the show ring and despite the bit of nervous tension in Thunder, I was feeling more relaxed than I've probably ever felt in a show arena.

I had a momentary wobble when I second-guessed which arena we were in and nearly got in the way of the Advanced horse who was about to go into the other arena, but we got out of the way, the horse cantered past (and spooked hugely at K and Erin who were innocently walking up to the show arena), and then we were walking around to the judges' box. It's a spooky arena with big grandstands, the dreaded Deadly Pile of Jumping Stuff in one corner, and a random fountain just a few meters from the fence, which splatters and glitters. Thunder didn't care about any of it. He let out a few whinnies and felt a bit spicy under me, with a little bit of tightness in his neck and jaw, but he was ready to work. We halted by the judge and Thunder announced his own self with a loud whinny, so I just waved and then rode away because I low key hate talking to judges anyway (sorry judges, it's not you, it's me).

The bell rang and then we were cantering down the centreline for the first time. My clever Thunder knew that the halt was coming and started to slam on the brakes a bit too early. I squeezed him forward and we lost a bit of balance in the canter, so that there were a couple of trot steps down into the halt, but it was a steady, square and straight halt so still garnered a 6.5. We proceeded in collected trot, turned right and then did the looooooong collected trot all the way to P, which I used as an opportunity to sort out my sitting trot a bit and find my balance in my inner thigh a little.

photo by Denford Studios

The half circle to L and half-pass to R felt smooth and easy, although I did have to work hard to get the bend I wanted, reflected in the judge's comment of "More bend and uphill", for 6.5. We rode a smooth and accurate 20m half circle to S (6.5) and then proceeded to V, where we rode another half circle to L and half-pass to S. His half-pass left always feels fantastic to me, and is effortless off my leg, but he was quarters leading as we went into it and lost some balance. We got our first 6.0 for that: "quarters leading at beginning, then improved. More self-carriage".

Proceeding on track to R, we had our little whoopsie. As we passed the judges' box, a lady with two dogs popped out from behind it. Thunder just about had a heart attack. He had a big and genuine spook and jumped sideways. I didn't feel wobbled, but we were way off the track, so I rode a little circle back to the same point and petted his neck and talked to him. He let out a breath, realized it was just a lady with doggos, and carried on like nothing whatsoever had happened. That was such a mature moment for us both - we really didn't let it get to us in any way. He spooked because he is a horse and we just dealt with it and carried on. Also, your first spook is "free" under South African rules, so we lost no marks for it except that we got a -2 for error of course because we made the circle. I thought it was rather generous of the judge not to penalise me for using my voice to soothe him.

We changed rein R to K in the dreaded medium trot, which was OK but boring for 6.0, "Cover more ground, show more cadence". Yeah, always. The transitions at R and K were 6.0 as well. Then came the first coefficient: the halt at A, with a rein-back of 5 steps. We got 6.5 for that, although I was a bit surprised, since he took a teeny step back in the halt and I miscounted the rein-back steps (my signature move) and he only took four. Still, the halt was steady, square and attentive and the rein-back was smooth, willing and quality, so I guess that made up for it.

photo by Denford Studios 

I was a little disappointed in our mark for the extended walk, 6.5, despite the fact that he was stretching, active, relaxed and forward. "Good reach from shoulder, active, relaxation. Could cover more ground". I expected at least a seven for that. Anyway, then we collected the walk and headed for my least favourite dressage movement in this universe - the walk pirouette. This time, though, I remembered to breathe and ride the movement, keeping his inside hind active where he often wants to get stuck and pivot. I overcompensated a bit and made the pirouette right too large for 5.0, "tension, too big", but the pirouette left was significantly better, 6.0, "not on line, more centering". Not the best marks, but I felt good about the fact that I actively rode them instead of just panicking and kicking. We got a 6.0 for the collected walk in the pirouettes, "rather tense", which was fair - we are both a bit tense in the pirouettes.

Next it was the canter tour, starting with the collected canter at C and the extended canter H to V. The extended canter itself was 6.0, "more ground cover" but the transitions were a 6.5. The half circle K to D followed by half-pass D to S was 6.0, "more bend", although I was glad I kept his quarters from falling forward at least. We got our first 7.0 for the counter canter half circle S to R - a triumph in itself given how much we'd struggled with that a few days prior - and a 6.5 for the flying change at B, "could be straighter". The next part of the canter tour comes up quickly, but Thunder was ready for it: half circle F to D, half pass D to R, half circle in counter canter R to S, flying change at E. We got 6.0 for the half-pass, again "more bend", 6.5 for the counter canter, and then 7.0 for the flying change, which was beautiful, through, straight, relaxed and collected.

the show photographers didn't get the change, but Erin did!

At this point, I was shamelessly using a little voice to praise him because he was being absolutely fantastic. He felt like he was just skipping along, smooth and easy through every movement. Sure, they weren't perfect, but they were coming easily to us both, and I was soooo happy. As we went around the corner for the next part of the canter tour, though, I felt his energy starting to fail a little bit. His shenanigans in the warmup meant that he wasn't exactly tired, but he was no longer jumping out of his skin, either. This was evident with our mark for the change of rein FLE with a change of leg at L: "not at marker, not quite through", 5.0. I felt his bum pop up and knew it wasn't through so I got to work revving him up and ended up revving far too much. He absolutely bounded from E towards M and, before I could ask for the change, changed in front, changed back, changed in front again, and then when I tapped him with my spur, changed behind. That was a 4.0, "late behind". Clearly the judge was totally unappreciative of his Interpretive Dance Moves.

I managed to get him somewhat together but we still weren't quite sorted out by the time we transitioned to trot at C and then had our loooooong extended trot, HXF. We gave it our best attempt, though, with 6.0 for both the trot ("more swinging, cadence") and the transitions ("more collection and engagement"). Fair. I'm okay with 6.0 for the extended trot given that Thunderbirdy doesn't exactly have the hugest gaits and his rider is not particularly good at sitting an extended trot, but I'm encouraged that we could have gotten more had I put him together a bit more quickly.

We finished up with our centreline and halt at X, by which point he was Decidedly Fired Up and wriggled a tiny bit in the halt for 6.0, "not quite straight".

I was soooo happy as we walked out on a loose rein with my good boy getting all the love and patting in the world. Sure, it wasn't a winning test, but it felt so good. There was no point when it felt laboured and, although he was a little tense, we were both present, thinking, enjoying ourselves, and in harmony. It had been difficult, in the warmup with all the big names and all the purpose-bred dressage horses, to feel like we belonged. After the test, it felt that we decidedly belonged. Not as a winning pair, perhaps - one has to accept that one is not going to win against pros who have 30 years of dedicated training on you, riding horses whose breeders put so much effort into blending the perfect bloodlines for this sport - but it doesn't matter to me. We are a solid pair, a good partnership, we enjoy ourselves, we are not overfaced, we are dancing. That's all I want.

Our placing, collectives and overall mark reflected that. Not brilliant, but solid. He got a 6.5 for his paces, 6.0 for impulsion, 6.0 for submission (usually he gets a better mark, but the tension on the day messed us up a bit), and I had 6.5 for my rider position and aids. We had a 60.78% with comment "Pity about the little tension. Show more lateral bend and a steadier contact in a more uphill frame". The unsteadiness in the contact was certainly tension too; he's normally rock solid. Bend and engagement are things we can improve.

We hacked back to the horsebox, laughing and grinning and over the moon with ourselves, and then fussed over him for a while until the tests came out. I almost didn't want to leave when we headed for home. It was genuinely fun and awesome (in no small part, thanks to getting to hang out with K and Erin) and I feel really good about the place I've found myself in my competitive riding now. It's a place of joy, of gratitude. The performance is solid, but it's not everything. My horse is fantastic, but we both make mistakes, yet neither of us get flustered by them. And as I was eyeing the horses cantering into the Advanced in the arena next door, well, it was starting to feel like that might be very much in our reach towards the end of the year.

This is supposed to be joyous. This is supposed to be fun; it's supposed to be worship. And for the first time perhaps ever in my life, it feels like it truly is.

God is so good.

Week Recap

Monday started with plenty of motivation as Thunder and I looked forward to our first show of the year - Easter Festival at Kyalami Park. We started with riding through all the movements of Medium 3 on Monday morning while waiting for the horse chiro to arrive. The test seemed long and scary when I read through it, but there was actually nothing in it that we haven't done a thousand times before. The newest movement was the canter to halt at the beginning, which he cottoned onto really quickly and offered after only a couple of attempts.

The hardest part was the counter canter to flying change. Thunder loves his changes and anticipated them quickly, so I had to really ride that counter canter until he got the message that we need to wait for the letter like a good boy.

I took zero chiro pictures so have Azai and the ball he destroyed

I was untacking him when the chiro arrived and she got right to work on the big boy. There was nothing major, just a restriction in his right hip, and she loved him as always.

We did a bunch of other horsies in the yard, including a few liveries, Sahara the schoolie, and then Arwen and Faith. Arwen felt good to me but I was concerned about her saggy back after having Wynnie. There was a tightness at T14, where her thoracic sling meets her pelvic sling, and her back looked noticeably different once chiro fixed it. She gave me some belly lifting exercises to do to help for that, too.

have sleepy Noah toebeans to break up the wall of text

Faith had been mildly unsound since HOY with that soreness behind on hard ground and I wanted chiro to have a look before we went down the X-rays route. Turns out she had a sprain in a large muscle in her butt (I forget which), likely one that occurred when she foaled Lassie. It healed to the point where she was sound as we brought her back to work but was reinjured as we increased her workload before HOY. Chiro was able to release a lot of the spasms surrounding the sprain and she has been noticeably better since. She does tire and go a little sore later on in a session, but she's sound as a bell to start with, which is much better than what we had before she saw the chiro.

Before chiro left, I also asked her to check old lady Skye over, and the news was good. Of course the old girl's knees are very arthritic but there was no sign of spasms or anything causing her undue pain. She has a tightness in the fascia of her left neck from an old abscess which I can currycomb to help release it a bit, but it's no big deal.

surveying her domain

A couple of the horses needed some time off after their appointments, so Arwen played stand-in schoolie that afternoon, a role at which she is impeccable. A bit of jumping isn't bad for her chonkiness either. I rode Lancey after lessons and he was hard to ride - really against my hand even in the working gaits and trying very hard to run above the bit even in trot. I had my work cut out for me, but we did improve towards the end, even if we didn't get to play with any movements and just went walk/trot/canter on a circle for the entire session. I love my Lancey, he is the most magical unicorn ever, but this issue can be unbelievably frustrating and there doesn't appear to be a physical root. It's just a training thing. It's gotten so much better, but relapses like this one can feel very disheartening.

still my sunset unicorn

Tuesday morning was fun and a little chaotic. We were out and about bright and early for Faith and K's photo shoot and to take some sale pictures of precious Ladybug. I'll post more of them later, but suffice it to say that it was much harder to get the six-year-old warmblood standing up to her eyeballs in flowers to prick her ears. She was more intent on eating flowers than anything else. I handled her the whole time, and nervous though I am, I never felt like I was going to get trampled, kicked, squashed or reared on. In fact, I don't think I ever actually had to pull the lead rein except to get her to stop eating and pick up her head. Someone is going to have a real gem in this mare and if I didn't already have Wynnie, it would probably have been me. Also, Ladybug wants a jumping and hacking home - she thinks the sandbox is pretty lame.

K and Faith had a fabulous time and were unbelievably photogenic, even if Faith was feeling a little spicy and very good after her adjustment and threw a few bucks here and there. I'm so grateful that Faith has found a rider who loves her for who she is. They're fantastic together and they have a genuine, loving bond that makes me so, so happy.

The rest of the day was a little chaotic, with a bunch of lessons and a ton of writing on my plate. I only got to Thunder late that afternoon between lessons. The chiro had recommended a stretchy ride for him. We kept it short, but he seemed a little more willing to stretch than before, and gave me some really nice loose serpentines and so on in trot. The canter right was loose and stretchy; canter left started out quite well but he wasn't able to hold it for very long. Canter left is usually his stronger side, so that was quite interesting.

I also rode Arwen for like 15 minutes when I had a tiny gap. We didn't really work on anything in particular with such a short time frame, but we squeezed in walk/trot/canter with some counter canter to remind her that it exists even though we're working on the changes. She was willing as ever, but still resistant to the right at times. I think she just needs to realize that she can bend right more easily since the chiro visit and doesn't need to fight me.

Wednesday was weirdly chaotic, for a Wednesday, but we started with a fairly solid ride on Thunder, going through Medium 3 again. I had reached the point I always do before a show where I have convinced myself that this is the hardest test ever and we are totally unprepared, so I pulled my signature move, which is to wildly override every single movement. Thunder called me out sharply on that nonsense by bucking through the changes, kicking at my leg and running through my overapplied aids. It's not that they're sharp or harsh, it's just that I try to give all of them, all at once. So we rode through Medium 3 and I thought it was a complete train wreck. (On the video later, it was fine - there was one late change and that was it). Then we took a walk break and I took big breaths and thanked him for pointing out my issues, and we rode it again, effortlessly. Thanks, bro.

calling mom out since 2012

There was another heart-melting milestone that morning when E2 got on Vortex, the livery who arrived in January, so lame and so thin and so poorly that I was honestly quite worried he just wouldn't stay alive, let alone ever go sound again. His owners poured a fortune into him even though no one expected we'd ever be able to sit on him again. He had mud fever up to his knees on all four legs, inflamed tendons in all four legs, and the beginnings of support limb laminitis behind from trying to keep the weight off his excruciatingly painful forelegs. I truly hoped we could make him a pasture pet, and even that seemed like a stretch.

Three months later, Vortex still needs a lot of weight, but he's shiny, healthy, gambolling around in the field like a foal, and sound as a brass bell on the lunge. So we put E2 on and he proved to be a total delight. Sound in walk/trot/canter for a short little ride, not spooky in the slightest, and responsive and easy to all the aids. It didn't take him long to find a delightful new adoptive home.

Thursday morning was our last ride before the show - Thunderbirdy prefers a day off the day before a show so that we have full batteries on the day of - and this time it was Thunder who needed to be called out on his nonsense. He did the bare minimum when asked and was sluggish laterally off my leg. We started riding the test and he gave me some very bored half-passes and late behind changes, so we went and did some turn on the forehand and leg-yields to remind him that my leg certainly does mean something, sir. With that sorted out, we rode the test twice very easily, with no major mistakes. I rushed the walk pirouettes the first time, but they were better the second time, and both of us were very chuffed with ourselves by the time we were done.

DH spent the entire afternoon building our new wash bay, which is now nearly finished. We're working on lots of small improvements to the stableyard, which is in dire need of some much-needed TLC after we built everything as cheaply as possible about five or six years ago. We did the best we could with what we had, but now we can do a little better.

On Thursday afternoon, Spirit's smallest kiddo tried Ladybug, with the view to perhaps getting her as a future junior horse. She is a tiny kiddo and fairly beginner so we kept things very simple, with E2 first showing Ladybug off and then helping kiddo with her in the lunge ring, but she didn't put a foot wrong.

I was tired by the end of Thursday and decidedly not in the mood for riding, but Arwen and Lancey had both been neglected all week, so after lessons I began to summon my motivation only to be surprised when kiddo and her parents surprised me with the cutest sunflower numnah, ears and brushing boots. It was out of the blue and just unbelievably sweet. I'd had a tough week with clients and honestly it meant a lot more to me than they could possibly have known. So of course Lancey immediately got saddled up with his new stuff.

He was a lot better for his ride, still wanting to argue occasionally, but I remembered what J said about his arguing being about my leg instead of my hand and worked to push the little dude to the bridle instead of pulling him into a frame. We didn't have the longest ride but it was much more solid.

On Friday morning, Shaila's kid enjoyed a last ride before the show (she was doing Novice 3 and 4), and then I enjoyed giving Thunder a bath in the new wash bay. He was impeccable in the cross ties, of course, although I just washed his mane, tail and socks because it was unseasonably cold and overcast.

Lancey also went for a very quick hack. Even though it was less than twenty minutes, it was still good to get out and have a little canter and then a nice loose rein walk. I'm trying to be better about squeezing the rides in on Lancey and Arwen even if they end up being short; a little bit is better than nothing. He was super well behaved and lovely, and felt quite spicy and excited to be out, but not pulling or doing anything silly.

Friday afternoon, after a couple of lessons, I got Arwen all dressed up in her blue outfit (I'm sorry, I'm a DQ, matchy matchy soothes me) and we had an absolutely fabulous ride. She was fresh and very stroppy at first, bouncing and breaking to canter while I was asking for walk half-pass, but then cottoned on that she has a much smoother right bend since her chiro visit. Once we had tamed the dragon a bit, this resulted in the best half-pass in trot and canter I've ever ridden on her.

We finished up with a couple of changes. They are boisterous and bouncy, but she absolutely knows what she's supposed to do, she's just still working out how to do it in one stride. We did two on each side, and most were a stride late in front, but the last one was perfectly clean and resulted in many pats and cuddles and kisses for a very clever dragon.

I haven't been able to clip her yet - last week was just too cold to bath a woolly fluffdragon - but she is getting a bit desperate for it. I really can't wash her down in the evenings anymore but she gets unbelievably sweaty. So hopefully this week the weather will give us a gap; it's school holidays and we have some more time than usual.

DH surprised me on Friday evening with my stirrups looking absolutely brand spanking new. I had made a bid at painting them (after he cleaned them for me) and buggered it up that morning, but he fixed them and made them beautiful that afternoon. Glitter purple stirrups had to be a good sign. I was excited for the show on Saturday.

God is good.

Week Recap

 We started out this week in the Eastern Cape, nursing my granny after a minor eye surgery. Granny turned out not to need any nursing whatsoever and bounced right back after the surgery, leaving us to enjoy a quiet week in East London. I missed my horses with a fierce intensity that I haven't felt since I was a little kid; it's safe to say that my love of riding has returned full strength, and I am so grateful for it. It's a gift from God and one that I thought I had lost for a minute there.

We visited our favourite local haunt, the Sea Spirit, ate way too much seafood, spent some time splashing around on the beach, and went to see a movie for the first time in a while. I read Felix Francis' Pulse (standard engaging Francis fare) and James Patterson's The Horsewoman, which was disappointingly poorly researched, and I'm not even being a snobby horse person critiquing everything just to prove how smart I am. It just... completely failed to capture what riding really is, and made it feel like any other high-stakes sport. Sorry Mr. Patterson, I know you are rolling in dough thanks to your writing prowess, but I didn't like it.

I quickly remedied this by reading the next instalment in Jeffery Deaver's Colter Shaw series, which has been impeccable so far, because Deaver just always is.

there were so many doggos on this beach

Anyway, it was lovely seeing my grandparents and spending the entire week basically inseparable from my husband, but when we got on the plane to go home on Tuesday I was ready to get back to the beautiful life we've been given at home.

Steve picked us up from the airport and she was delighted to be reunited with DH, and he likewise squawked "Steve!" the moment he spotted her. I swear I'm the third wheel around here sometimes.

It's the first time I've flown since I was a tiny girl, and it felt like time travel. One moment I was at the beach and the next I was in my home arena, teaching lessons.

I was too tired to ride once all the lessons were done, so I hung out with Wynnie and did her mane instead. She chomped on her haynet, happy for the attention, and stood almost perfectly still for the whole thing. I can't believe she's growing up so fast.

On Wednesday morning I got to try out some new goodies I'd ordered that had, characteristically, arrived while I wasn't home. Thunder has been desperately needing a new girth for an embarrassing amount of time and I got this nice Capriole one for like R500 from Tack Shack. (That's about $30). It's elasticated, shaped and nicely padded, and I'm fairly impressed for the price. I also managed to guess the right size perfectly, so bully for me. (It's 24", in case I forget again by the time I need another one).

I don't think I've mentioned Thunder's new saddle yet, either. Back in the days of being a teenager with parents who fed me, I bought three saddles - a JC jumping, a Kent & Masters jumping, and a Wintec 250 dressage. The JC was sold to Jamaica's child after Magic retired and is being passed on to Jamaica's new child, the K&M has had a thousand tiny repairs done and goes on Flashy, Midas and Faith, and the Wintec 250 is still going strong and fits Arwen and Lancey. Not a single one of the above ever really fit Thunder. I discovered a Blackburn dressage in the tack room at the Friesians and asked to buy it, at which point the owner promptly gave it to me. It didn't fit me but it more or less fit him and I probably wouldn't have been able to ride him at all for the past two years if it wasn't for that Blackburn.

Still, it moved at the back and I drowned in it, so I was saving up for a new saddle even before holes got worn in the saddle flap and knee rolls. I was anticipating paying a small fortune for even a secondhand synthetic dressage until J came through for me and worked a little bit of magic to get me a secondhand Flexi Rider dressage for half the price I would have paid anywhere else. It's in pristine condition and fits Thunder perfectly once I'd put in a red (wide) gullet plate.

used a half pad under it while we waited for the new gullet to come

The Flexi Rider is a sort of Wintec knock-off, although the quality seems better than the Wintecs I've sat in. This one sits very similarly to the Isabel Werth, which is my favourite saddle in the universe. I love it to pieces and so far it's been life-changing for both Thunder and me. And that concludes the most painless saddle shopping experience ever.

Anyway, E2 the work rider (who is back now that her collarbone is better, yay!) posted on her WhatsApp status that she had some stirrups and leathers for sale at a total bargain, so I asked her to bring them. They turned out to be Prestige MG stirrups and I got them for an embarrassingly tiny amount of money (like... $15?) even though I did try to offer her more.

They're a little beat up but I'm pretty sure DH can work his magic and make them beautiful. I'm thinking... silver glitter. I like the broader footplate and the weight of them (they are HEAVY), although I'll still scrounge a pair of Nu Angles somewhere one day.

Thus dolled up in all the New Stuff, Thunder and I had a sticky sort of ride. K had been riding him last week and Sir TBird clearly took advantage and plopped around a bit. I also felt a little discombobulated up there after like 10 days off riding. It wasn't bad, just sort of lazy and meh, so we kept it simple and focused on gait quality. Either way, it was so, so good to be back on him again.

He's going to J's for three months in the winter to be made Extra Fancy and I am not entirely sure how I'm going to survive that, but I know it'll be worth it for both of us. It's not fair on him for his ammy mom to try and teach him the PSG movements alone. J Boot Camp will be far better for us both.

That afternoon, after a quick catch-up lesson for Shaila, I saddled up Madam Dragon in her adorable new outfit. Steve and DH clubbed together to get me my first proper matchy matchy set for my birthday last month, and now I am a real proper dressage queen. Did I mention that the numnah is glittery? It is so, so glittery.

K and E2 and my super groom, M, had kept Arwen thoroughly in work while I was away - she is so fat that she really can't have any time off - and she was really pleasant from the moment I got on. Arwen is used to having lots of people ride her and very quickly adjusts back to me. As always, we did a lot of work on suppleness. Her gaits are solid quality now, and the suppleness is slowly improving. We finished off by playing with the flying changes for the second time. Technically she needs a suppler topline before the changes are really going to be anything, but she has been offering them so I'm not going to turn it down. She tries really hard and gets the idea, but we need a bit more practice - and, again, suppleness - to make them clean. She's the first one I've had that changes behind first and then takes a stride or two to change in front.

Lancey had a photo shoot the next morning so I didn't want to ride him and make him all dirty again, but also didn't want to fall and die considering that we were taking pictures in the cosmos flowers, which are taller than we are. I gave him a little free lunge and he was actually sort of flat, but very obedient.

The next morning bright and early E2 arrived. She wanted cosmos photos for her portfolio and offered me a short shoot for a great price. Lancey was spicy and playful as we walked out to the flowers, which are currently in full bloom. I know they're invaders but cosmos time is still my favourite time of year. The whole farm is decked out in a way that puts me in mind of the heavenly Jerusalem coming down out of the sky as the Bride of the Lamb. I'll post all the photos later with some poetic drivel I'm working on, but here's a sneak peek.

by Erin Vogler Photography

It was really fun. Lancey was spicy and threw one little porpoise-y buck, but he was so game to do whatever weird thing I asked. We even cantered a short distance through the flowers (almost squashing Blizzy in the process) and he went boldly, no questions asked, leaping through them to keep his legs from getting tangled up. I'm not sure there's another horse in the world that I'd ask to do that.

On Thursday afternoon between lessons I hopped on Thunder with a bit of a more businesslike approach and made it clear that we were going forward from the very first stride. He immediately obliged and was actually pretty spicy after just a few minutes, giving me everything willingly and easily. It was really, really great. I carried my whip, but only used it twice; the rest of the time he went straight off my leg. We played with lateral work to heat him up and he gave me really super half-pass zig-zags in trot, quarter line to quarter line to centreline, with a soft easy bend.

Since those were so easy, we took a shot at a movement we actually haven't tried before - the same movement in canter with flying changes. The first time through he got a bit excited and thought we were doing tempis, so it was a bit hair-raising, but when we did it the second time I felt him say "oh! it's like the thing we do in trot" and it was smooth. Not perfect, but smooth and easy with clean changes. That made my day.

We also went back to working on the pirouette canter and large quarter pirouettes for the first time since getting our new saddle, and that was much easier than before. There was no getting stuck or kicking my leg. I worked hard to stay sitting up instead of curling over my hands, and it was the best work I've had from him. He was sweaty when we were done, but didn't feel tired. I think the muscular stamina is finally getting there.

Arwen was supposed to have her weekly jump with a kiddo on Thursday afternoon, but when kiddo rescheduled to Friday, M just gave her a good lunge instead.

Friday morning dawned with the exciting promise of lessons with J, always a huge highlight for me. I brushed Thunder's mane out - it's getting all long and Friesian-y now - and groomed him to within an inch of his life. His legs are being eaten up by the flies a bit, but the rest of his skin weathered this summer better than it's done in years. We're looking for some heavy-duty fly boots for him to survive being out in a large field with friends all summer, so if anyone knows of a good brand, let me know. We can get most of the overseas brands down here.

J was in fine form on Friday and put us straight to work, teasing all the way. I thought I might have a tired, flat Thunder after riding him the previous afternoon, but instead, Thunder was so ready to work. I'm not sure if it was my more positive mindset or if his old saddle was bugging him more than I realized. Either way, he put his ears up and said "Yes, ma'am!" the second I put my leg on, so that was really great.

We warmed up with lots of rein-back, stretchy walk and some loose working trot, and then got right to business. J introduced piaffe/half steps on the long reins a few lessons ago, when we were in no-saddle-limbo, and today we tried it with me on board. My job was simply to sit still, keep him straight and soft, and not get my leg squashed against the wall. J was giving the orders. I'd done the same thing a few years ago but on J's two GP horses, so things were a little more complicated for me this time. Not that Thunder had forgotten how to piaffe - on the contrary, he knew perfectly well that if he gave John two or three solid steps (not expressive yet, but rhythmic and sitting), he would get a big pat and some treats. In Thunder's mind, therefore, there was no need to take more than two or three steps. The moment J gave him the voice command for piaffe (a rhythmic cluck, in his case), Thunder sat down and gave two nice steps and then stopped and turned his head for the treat. I was an accessory.

J rewarded him the first time and then started to ask him for a few more steps at a time, slowly building the strength that will eventually lead to more collection and expression. Thunder seems to find this movement deceptively easy. He's not very extravagant but there's a very solid rhythm and he can already do several steps almost completely on the spot. He did want to go backwards once or twice, though, at which point I kicked him forward a bit, and once he threatened to give a buck. No one got annoyed with him for that - he's allowed to express a lack of understanding or fatigue. Most of the time, though, I barely had any contact on the reins at all. He understands and likes this game because there are treats involved. 

We continued the lesson working on that ever-elusive collected canter that I struggle with so much. On the day, though, his collected canter was nearly effortless, in no small part because homeboy was HOT after all the piaffe work. J gave me a few reminders to keep my left rein the same length as the right rein and to keep his neck straight without worrying too much about the position. If he needs to lift his nose up a bit at this stage in order to engage his butt, then that's what he needs to do. There's no use trying to make a frame in front without true collection from behind, and it's not going to be perfect while he's still finding his balance in the ultra-collected movements. We proceeded to pirouette canter with a little help from the ground and got three or four almost on the spot steps at a time.

J left us with strict homework: collected and pirouette canter work, using treats to reward him after good steps just like we do with the half-steps/piaffe. My job is to interfere much less and trust the horse to carry himself far more. He's a big boy now and he can do things independently - I generally just get in his way. I need to be uncompromising about my leg aid in a way that allows me to keep my leg almost completely off except for tiny reminders from my upper calf even in pirouette canter. (Carl Hester's whole thing about riding a lazy horse with the leg off certainly applies).

Thunder hardly felt tired by the end of the lesson and barely sweated, although, granted, it was a cool autumn morning. He felt ready for more. I think we're actually getting somewhere now.

Lancey was next, and I was a little worried about him. I'd heard him cough once or twice when he was turned out and his legs were quite stocked up. He does that sometimes, and he had a normal temperature with no discharge and acted completely like himself, but I decided to keep a really close eye on him. Probably my favourite thing about riding with J is that he advocates, hard, for the horse above all things, more so than anyone else I've ever ridden with. J will never push a horse that's fatigued, let alone a horse that doesn't seem well or even the tiniest bit off or sore. I wouldn't even have saddled him up if it was anyone but J.

Still, his legs were cool if puffy, and when I took him for a little walk before the lesson he was chirpy and eager to go forward. We came into the arena and did a ton of lateral work in the walk, changing it up: either going down the long side and transitioning from shoulder-in to renvers (or shoulder-out to travers) repeatedly, or coming out of the corner in half-pass, down the quarter line in shoulder-in, back to half-pass to the centreline, down the centerline in shoulder-in, transition to renvers, large half-pirouette to the track, repeat. This latter worked really well to keep him balanced and supple and not allow him to brace. We picked up the trot and Lancey coughed twice more and then moved boldly forward with no hint of unhappiness, and by this time his legs were dry and tight, so we went to work. I'm pretty sure he was just a bit allergic to all the flowers we played in the day before, but he's got the weekend off and we're keeping a good eye on him.

okay here's one more - by Erin Vogler Photography

Right from the start, J wanted me to do the opposite with Lancey. Where I needed to leave Thunder alone more, I needed to ride every stride on Lancey more. We started with a ton of shoulder-in in trot, J encouraging me to really focus on connecting constantly to both reins and using repeated light aids to remind him of his position and be compassionately uncompromising about what I wanted. Consistency was the theme.

Once he was nice and warm, we played with some half-steps, too. They don't come quite as naturally to Lancey as to Thunder, and I had my work cut out for me keeping him steady, soft and straight in the bridle. Still, when we did get three nice steps, they were powerful and expressive and he got plenty of praise and treats. That seemed to make the penny drop for him, and they got better after that.

Finally, we went on to some canter work, just going round on a circle, and for some reason I was just... failing at riding a connection. At all. J reminded me constantly to keep his neck straight and to ride him strongly from inside leg to outside rein for balance and connection. Lancey loves to fight my hand, but the thing is that sometimes he's not actually fighting my hand, he's fighting my leg. He will go around very sweetly in a working frame in working gaits, but works hard to wriggle out of connection when I ask for the collected gaits. Still, once "Mother has her brain switched on" (in the words of an exasperated J), he gave me some really, really solid work.

Friday afternoon was Arwen's jumping lesson, so I spent her usual riding time hanging out with Skye instead. Skye was always a pretty standoffish mare - she'd come to me if I called, but she wasn't one for grooming or fussing. She'd had a difficult past before my parents bought her when I was a little kid, and some of that wariness stayed with her even when we were still riding.

Something's changed in the past year or so, though. Skye's become cuddly. She's always in the middle of whatever we're doing, nuzzling the lesson kids, lining up in front of the tack room with the schoolies like she wants to be involved. She even tried to get into the horsebox when we took Spirit to SANESA two weekends ago. I'm just so happy that I can groom and fuss and play with her without imposing on her, and I spent a long time grooming and cuddling and feeding her treats on Friday, especially because it was her Gotcha Day (or maybe my Gotcha Day; I'm not sure). I was seven when my parents bought her for me, and that was nineteen years ago. A whole lifetime. My whole lifetime.

I'm so grateful that we've had this incredible journey together, Skye and I. The Lord has worked so mightily in this mare. She gave me wings when I was little, made my childhood absolutely magical, allowed the imagination that makes my living today to run unfettered. And when I was a teenager, she was instrumental in helping me find the One behind the magic I saw as a kid. Now somehow I'm a grown woman and she's still here, beautiful and kind, still the same mane to cry into, the mane that held my childhood dreams and my teenage secrets. That's something so special. Something rare and amazing.

She's doing so well physically, too. It's almost time for her routine autumn bloodwork but on the surface she looks great. Her weight is amazing, she gallops out of the night paddock in the morning and back into it in the evening, and she trots only about 1/5 lame, which is not bad when you're a 35-year-old horse. The old knees will never be young again but they don't appear to impede anything she wants to do - galloping up the hill or lying down to roll or just grazing in the field - and that's a gift.

Arwen rounded off the week by being super good for her kid, which she always is. This kid actually rides well even though she's quite small and Arwen has started to bend and connect a little bit for her. She jumps with great gusto, only little fences, but the cardio is good for Madam Lardy Dragon.

She's just really hairy right now and starting to suffer a bit since it's still hot and she always sweats like a pig. I'm going to need to try and run the clippers over her next week even though it's a little early in the year.

God is good 💜