Free Again

With Thunder at school and some of my time free for both greys, I was hoping that Lancey would make comparable progress to Arwen this winter and finally break through this connection issue we've had forever and ever. Instead, we've had kind of a rocky winter.

It started when K and I boxed Lancey and Faith out to Caesarsvlei to ride with EM and Anke on 16 June, which is a public holiday. Anke, who has had very little hacking and travelling experience, was absolutely amazing. For the first time ever, Lancey was not. 

He started the ride on the wrong foot by spooking hugely at a dog popping out of the bushes - a legit spook, but the first time he's ever actually turned and run. It rattled me and things got worse when he started to nap and I could have handled it more kindly, but instead insisted he go forward, which only made him nap harder. He was pretty solid for the next while and then halfway up a mountain he lost his mind completely and gave four or five BIG rears. Totally out of character for him; I bailed out when he landed from the last one, and he stopped and stood there snorting for a moment, then relaxed. I brushed my hands over him to make sure there was nothing on him and didn't find anything, but when I got back on, he was back to plodding on a loose rein with no issues. He hasn't done it in the two months since so I'm pretty sure something stung him or poked him or pinched him or something, but it rattled me half to death.

the snow ride (July 10) was joggy but so worth it

Not coincidentally, he pulled, fussed and jogged toward the end of the ride, and we had several joggy, pulling hacks in July. I'd just tweaked his diet to put some weight on him so I'm sure that had something to do with it and my nerves certainly weren't helping.

yes it does snow here... every 10 years or so

Things kind of went down the toilet toward the end of July. Our dressage rides were downright horrid. We'd make okay progress, then go back to being unable to trot a serpentine without throwing his nose in the air. He kicked at my leg. He bucked through the changes so hard that I stopped trying them and went back to basics, again. His body didn't feel great, although the bodywork fixed that. Things were just kind of crappy and we weren't getting along.

Two things happened to change that. Firstly, DRASA - our national competitive trail riding organisation - launched a virtual competitive trail ride which looked really fun. You could pick a distance and had three weeks to track and submit your miles, which could include arena miles, as well as a short horsemanship test. I entered the 20km division to challenge me to get him onto the trails and rebuild our confidence a bit.

rebuilding courage with E2 and Leia

I started out straight away by doing very slow, short solo hacks like I'd done when I'd just gotten him, and they made a magical difference. Lancey instantly reverted to his perfect self (honestly I don't think perfect Lancey ever left - it was me who needed to remove my head from my posterior) and we had some really good times together.

Secondly, I made a decision to back off on the dressage with him. Is he good for me to learn on? Absolutely. Will I continue to improve his schooling? Yes. Do I really have the time to keep three horses in competitive dressage shape AND enjoy trail riding with friends, playing with liberty, and attending breed shows? There is absolutely no chance. 

Arwen and Thunder are both farther along in their schooling, more enjoyable to ride, and actively enjoy dressage more while needing less bodywork and maintenance. We have a two-berth horsebox so usually only show two at a time. It was an obvious decision to focus my time and resources on them in terms of dressage work... and free up a frustrated Lanceycorn to be what he really wants to be: a cherished pet, trail horse, and show pony.

Maybe we'll make a return to the dressage ring sometime, but right now it feels good to take the pressure off and prioritise our relationship over show ring goals that I'm already privileged to be achieving with my other two amazing partners. I feel like it's time to celebrate Lancey for being Lancey.

In that spirit, outrides with friends have been the name of our game lately. We've done a lot of short, quiet hacks at home, solo and in pairs, on trails that we know and are comfortable on, and they went a long way toward rebuilding our trust in one another.

A good test came on Friday, when we headed out with Anke and EM to check out a venue for a mountain biking event where we were thinking of using the mounted unit. Lanceycorn was, of course, impeccable to travel - even when we dropped Anke off at her yard and then took him home on his own - and even pretty impeccable at the very spooky venue itself. There were a lot of random things to snort at, like signs and rocks and piles of wood and (most memorably) a stick that nearly murdered both of us, but he was doing his trademarked spook-in-place which doesn't worry either of us. He was a little nappy at a few points, but didn't mind if Anke left us. Almost back to his perfect self.

he was bathed for the occasion and I had to record an actually white Lancey for posterity

Even when a bunch of enormous trucks, tractors and things went past, and a whirlwind caught the copious danger tape being used to mark out the parking, Lancey didn't really care. We ended up not going to the event because of a HUGE loose dog that chased us (luckily not coming within biting range - I have no faith in Lancey's ability to fight off angry dogs; he'd happily offer up his legs as chew toys) but it was a confidence-building outing all round.

Anke as voluptuous as ever

That did leave us without the long, long ride that I'd anticipated to finish up our 20km for the online CTR, so on Monday morning, I dragged E2 along on Toy Town and we had a long ride around the farm instead. This was the first time that Lancey and I felt entirely like our old selves again. From the moment we left the gate on a loose rein, we were happy and chill to be out together, two friends doing our thing. He spooked at the same water trough he always spooks at (obviously) and we just carried on happily. I even volunteered for a nice long canter, and though he was a little wriggly and wanted to pop out a tiny buck as we went into it, we had a great time. He chugged along in his perfect little dressage canter while Toy Town bucked, snorted, ran away with E2, disappeared over the horizon, etc.

We even had all three doggos with us and their various popping out of the bushes did nothing to phase Lancey. Instead we enjoyed a gorgeous stroll through the harvested soya fields, getting pursued by the cows. I hopped off to grab a snare off the south boundary fence and he stood quietly while I wrestled with it. (Poaching is sadly alive and well around here, even if it's porcupines and aardvarke instead of rhinos in our particular corner of Africa).

We went home with another nice easy canter up the hill, and I couldn't be happier. Sure, I took a confidence knock, but we fixed it. We're back to ourselves again and maybe stronger than ever.

All thanks to my little white knight, a horse named Lancelot.

God is so good.

Testing the Upgrade

 Thunderbirdy has been at boarding school for ten weeks now, and J let me know that he's ready for me to start getting some lessons on him before he comes home in a couple of weeks.

My first lesson was on Wednesday and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't absolutely dead nervous. My riding nerves have been a little worse lately (maybe related to just some overall farm/work stress) and ten weeks is a long time not to ride my horse. Still, I was super excited. I've really, deeply missed him and everything about how magical he is.

When I arrived at his field gate and called him, he turned and trotted straight to me with a whinny, which was heart-melting. He's been a little more up at J's than at home, but he still behaved better than usual on the ground, which was nice - his ground manners are definitely something J did a lot of work on. He was even happy and chill alone in the stables while he was being tacked up.

J started by giving me a longer pair of spurs, the same shape as my usual ones, but very long, and explained that this was to help my leg be quieter and stiller. They're not harsher exactly, they just have a greater range of motion with my leg more quiet. With that I hopped on and walked him into the arena and he immediately spooked hard sideways.

This is nothing new, he has his spooky moments at home too, but it caught me off guard and scared the living crap out of me for a second there. He has once or twice followed up his spook with a really big bolt so I was pretty reluctant to then let go of the reins and let him stretch, but J insisted and I slowly did. He had another one or two small spooks as we were walking around but didn't offer to built, but the damage was done and I was pretty spooked myself.

J noticed and put us to work quite briskly. Once we'd stretched for a couple of laps he had me do some flexions left and right and some shoulder-fore left and right, then went straight into the canter work, ever our nemesis. He spooked one more time in the corner and rattled me just a bit further but I felt better now that we were cantering collected and I felt more able to communicate with his whole body, so after a few laps of struggling to focus and sit properly, I got a few deep breaths and we got to work.

I love this thing that his tail does

Once we were focused and working, things started to go much better. I felt fine and I realized abruptly that he felt absolutely amazing. He was still my Thunder, with that magical rippling feeling in his back, but J had stuffed a Ferrari engine inside of him. He was a lot softer in the bridle and moved on an absolutely hair trigger off my lateral aids, still a little dull to my leg going forward, but much less so than he used to be.

J got after me for hanging onto the front end with a hard firm contact so I had to do a lot of work to shorten and collect him without pulling. I used to see-saw a lot before I lessoned with J and appear to have overcorrected into pulling (maybe that's why Arwen pulls my arms off hey?). We did quite a lot of counter flexion so that I could convince myself that he is soft in the outside rein. It also took me a while to figure out where to hit the button for more energy in his collected canter, and as soon as I did so, I found a whole other gear. My horse was jumping with every step but so balanced and collected under me.

I'd also forgotten just how comfy his new saddle is. We only had it for a couple of months before he went to boarding school and it is magical; the knee blocks are just in the right place that holding my leg steady feels natural instead of an effort.

When we moved to canter right, the wheels began to fall off the bus again. It turned out that my right leg is kind of useless and that the asymmetry I have in my body is enough that my new sensitive Thunder kept trying to go with quarters to the right. I had to really focus on weighting my left seatbone and using my right leg in shoulder-fore position to keep him straight. The collection suffered as a result of the straightness, but with an effort, we did get there.

His changes were also a whole new world for me. I overrode them a lot, maybe because Arwen is still learning them (and me too to be honest). There's no need to set him up and prepare as much; as long as he is straight and collected, all I need to do is move my outside leg back a smidgen and he changes so softly and fluidly that I had to look down to make sure he did change.

On that happy note, we went to the collected walk and started playing with a little piaffe. I struggle with collected walk and it was messy at first, but we got some good collected walk, some half steps, and a few piaffe steps. He feels like he knows what to do, but I do not lol, poor guy.

J got on right after that to fix a few things I'd already broken (sorry dude) and I got to see my horse in action doing some really great canter work and then, to my awe and delight, doing a few short lines of one- and two-tempis. Only two or three at a time, but they were boldly through and expressive.

Then we were done and J told me to walk him around the paddocks to cool off. I was immediately tense about this, which did not help when Thunder went up the drive and napped/spooked. I sternly had him go on for a while but then he spooked (in place) at an uprooted tree and refused to go forward, then began to back up a bit with his neck and back locked up really tight. He didn't actually do anything silly, but he sure felt like he was going to and my nerves were shot by that point so I got off and led him past it. Admittedly there were some tears at this point. I was so frustrated with myself for being nervous on a horse I've known and loved for his entire life, and frustrated with him for being unusually spooky on the day.

It took me a few minutes of walking to realize that I could be a little kinder to both of us. Having me on his back must have felt as weird to him as it felt to me, and my tension transmitted in a way it never used to, maybe because he's more alert, aware and connected to the rider than he used to be. In the same breath, I know him and he knows me. We just need a few rides to find one another again; when I feel bolder, I'll be able to be more confident and assertive. There's no use trying to bluff my way through it. Horses just don't work that way.

Anyway, at the corner of the paddock I got back on and he very happily and politely walked the rest of the way even past some more spooky stuff. J acknowledged that Thunder was being a bit naughty/spooky and that I needed to be more assertive, so that's what we'll work on with our next ride. That and, you know, pushing the new buttons that my horse has all of a sudden.

I gave him a nice shower and a bunch of treats and turned him out feeling a bit bummed that we'd had a few rough moments, but really excited for the potential I feel in him. J asked if he could stay for another month and said the magic words: "then I can show him myself at PSG". I started at him like he'd grown another head. PSG? What sorcery is this? That used to be the pipe dream.

We don't have the budget for another month at boarding school right now, so we've decided to work on sending him back later, when J wants to add in Spanish walk to teach him a proper extended trot and even passage. "Then you'll nearly have a Grand Prix horse," he said, and I guess we have a new pipe dream now.

I was supposed to lesson on Thunder again today but he had his flu shot yesterday which gave him a mild fever like it usually does, so I'll see him next week. Although our lesson was tough, I'm really excited. All we need to get over the nervousness is a bit more time together; he's not doing anything new, we only need to get used to one another again. For the first time ever, I have a schoolmaster, and it's my own boy, my boy who I raised from a tiny little foal. The journey is precious even in its rocky patches.

In other news, our national dressage association is replacing our levels and tests with the American levels and tests, so from January we'll be doing the same tests as you guys - 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th level. Thunder, Arwen and I are graded at Elementary-Medium which is between 2nd and 3rd level, so we'll be allowed to pick which level we want to go into next year. If we go to 3rd level and carry over our current points, it's effectively a little leg-up for us, and we'll be able to show 4th at regional shows anytime from January. To be totally honest, the 3rd level tests are also significantly shorter and easier than our Medium tests, which each have a minimum of 4 flying changes and much more difficult half-passes, so we should earn our points for 4th quite easily, all going according to plan.

I'm so proud of my farm donkey for the level of work he's doing and I really look forward to dipping our toes into the big leagues early next year. Who knows - maybe we'll earn my tailcoat sooner than I thought.

God is very good.

One Dancing Dragon

 The last time I schooled and competed Arwen regularly, before she had her year as a kid pony and then a couple of years to raise Wynnie, we were absolutely labouring around elementary. It didn't help that I had two (count 'em) dressage lessons on her, ever, and that I'd taught myself all the movements based on stuff I read on the Internet. When you think about it that way, it's pretty amazing that she could do them at all.

think if I'd lengthened my stirrups like 4 holes I could have sat the trot?

The break to have Wynnie has changed so much. Firstly, I think it was a great reset for her body. Secondly, when she came back to work, I was a completely different rider. Not heaven's gift to dressage by any means but I've had nearly six years of solid instruction now, so obstacles that seemed absolutely immovable three or four years ago are now simple problems with real solutions.

Arwen has been in work again for nearly a year now. For the last two months, with Thunder at school, I've ridden her every weekday instead of having her lunged now and then between rides when I couldn't get to her. It's really starting to pay off.

Her body feels the best it ever has. The saggy baby belly has finally retreated, with a notable improvement after her last chiro visit. She was always super stiff in her body (a product of a rider who did not know what bend was... like legit I was riding the equivalent of 2nd level and I did not know) but now the suppleness is really getting there. It's not at the same level as Thunder or Lancey yet, but it's getting there.

Her engine just blows me away. Most of it is mental, because she can be really hot when I'm revving her up, but the strength has caught up with her brain now and there are moments that feel like she can do anything. We've tinkered with pirouette canter and it's hollow but she has a capacity to sit that I've never really felt before. There's so much energy and power. Sometimes considerably too much energy and power, lol, but I like it.

She intimidated me a little when I was just bringing her back into work; I'd grown very used to my two gorgeous geldings who never put a foot wrong. But even at her worst, the rock-steady foundation of our fifteen years together never gave in. I got used to the antics and she got used to the idea that her servant is no longer 17 and bulletproof. We settled into one another again, and now our old friendship has come back to the surface, except that she's a few years older and sassier, and I'm a little heavier, a little kinder, a little more patient, and a lot more knowledgeable.

dragonbelly all gone!

Bold though she is, Arwen is responding to the change in me. Arwen's never been cuddly, but she's showing a sweeter side that I haven't seen much of before. She's still the dragon, don't get me wrong, and she will 100% string together a bunch of bucks if she feels I've earned them. Still, there have been little changes. 

I usually bring her in from the field early in the morning when I've finished checking the pasture herd, just to save some time when I want to ride her a bit later. I never give her treats at this time - she's easy to catch and the herd are downright maniacal if they catch a whiff of banana Snickers. This morning, I planned to give her a day off, and I was in a hurry so I just checked the client horses close up and glanced toward my own to make sure that they still had four legs and were grazing, so I didn't even go up to Arwen. I was probably 50-100 metres from her checking up on a client horse when she just picked up her head and came right over. She's never done that except for treats. I gave her some scratches and lovies, then turned to leave, and she followed me all the way up to the gate (I was at the bottom of the field) away from the herd. When I opened the gate, she followed me through and stood over the box her halter lives in. "Well, peasant, are we doing this or not?" I put her halter on and took her up to lunge for ten minutes, respecting her wishes. One does not simply ignore the dragon's commands.

The result has been magic from my point of view. We're not setting the world on fire by any means, but my world sure is blazing when I look between her long dragon ears. We've even been on some hacks - alone and in company - which I haven't done confidently on anyone other than Lancey (and the ploddiest of my school ponies) in years and years and years.

In terms of dressage, we went from struggling with Elementary work this time last year (or even in January of this year) to test riding Medium this week. Is it world-shaking? No. Does she feel capable? Absolutely. It's easier getting her through a Medium test than Thunder (although part of that is just the fact that her trot is really easy to sit on lol). She's still a bit stiff and she pulls like a train but she learns the movements so, so quickly.

Ultimately, this horse has already given me her whole heart in everything we've ever done. Getting this time to dance with her, almost 15 years into our partnership, with her still sound and still wanting to work, is an unspeakable gift. A ribbon wrapped around the amazing, undeserved treasure of dancing horses.

Thank you my dragon <3

God is so good.