Testing the Upgrade

 Thunderbirdy has been at boarding school for ten weeks now, and J let me know that he's ready for me to start getting some lessons on him before he comes home in a couple of weeks.

My first lesson was on Wednesday and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't absolutely dead nervous. My riding nerves have been a little worse lately (maybe related to just some overall farm/work stress) and ten weeks is a long time not to ride my horse. Still, I was super excited. I've really, deeply missed him and everything about how magical he is.

When I arrived at his field gate and called him, he turned and trotted straight to me with a whinny, which was heart-melting. He's been a little more up at J's than at home, but he still behaved better than usual on the ground, which was nice - his ground manners are definitely something J did a lot of work on. He was even happy and chill alone in the stables while he was being tacked up.

J started by giving me a longer pair of spurs, the same shape as my usual ones, but very long, and explained that this was to help my leg be quieter and stiller. They're not harsher exactly, they just have a greater range of motion with my leg more quiet. With that I hopped on and walked him into the arena and he immediately spooked hard sideways.

This is nothing new, he has his spooky moments at home too, but it caught me off guard and scared the living crap out of me for a second there. He has once or twice followed up his spook with a really big bolt so I was pretty reluctant to then let go of the reins and let him stretch, but J insisted and I slowly did. He had another one or two small spooks as we were walking around but didn't offer to built, but the damage was done and I was pretty spooked myself.

J noticed and put us to work quite briskly. Once we'd stretched for a couple of laps he had me do some flexions left and right and some shoulder-fore left and right, then went straight into the canter work, ever our nemesis. He spooked one more time in the corner and rattled me just a bit further but I felt better now that we were cantering collected and I felt more able to communicate with his whole body, so after a few laps of struggling to focus and sit properly, I got a few deep breaths and we got to work.

I love this thing that his tail does

Once we were focused and working, things started to go much better. I felt fine and I realized abruptly that he felt absolutely amazing. He was still my Thunder, with that magical rippling feeling in his back, but J had stuffed a Ferrari engine inside of him. He was a lot softer in the bridle and moved on an absolutely hair trigger off my lateral aids, still a little dull to my leg going forward, but much less so than he used to be.

J got after me for hanging onto the front end with a hard firm contact so I had to do a lot of work to shorten and collect him without pulling. I used to see-saw a lot before I lessoned with J and appear to have overcorrected into pulling (maybe that's why Arwen pulls my arms off hey?). We did quite a lot of counter flexion so that I could convince myself that he is soft in the outside rein. It also took me a while to figure out where to hit the button for more energy in his collected canter, and as soon as I did so, I found a whole other gear. My horse was jumping with every step but so balanced and collected under me.

I'd also forgotten just how comfy his new saddle is. We only had it for a couple of months before he went to boarding school and it is magical; the knee blocks are just in the right place that holding my leg steady feels natural instead of an effort.

When we moved to canter right, the wheels began to fall off the bus again. It turned out that my right leg is kind of useless and that the asymmetry I have in my body is enough that my new sensitive Thunder kept trying to go with quarters to the right. I had to really focus on weighting my left seatbone and using my right leg in shoulder-fore position to keep him straight. The collection suffered as a result of the straightness, but with an effort, we did get there.

His changes were also a whole new world for me. I overrode them a lot, maybe because Arwen is still learning them (and me too to be honest). There's no need to set him up and prepare as much; as long as he is straight and collected, all I need to do is move my outside leg back a smidgen and he changes so softly and fluidly that I had to look down to make sure he did change.

On that happy note, we went to the collected walk and started playing with a little piaffe. I struggle with collected walk and it was messy at first, but we got some good collected walk, some half steps, and a few piaffe steps. He feels like he knows what to do, but I do not lol, poor guy.

J got on right after that to fix a few things I'd already broken (sorry dude) and I got to see my horse in action doing some really great canter work and then, to my awe and delight, doing a few short lines of one- and two-tempis. Only two or three at a time, but they were boldly through and expressive.

Then we were done and J told me to walk him around the paddocks to cool off. I was immediately tense about this, which did not help when Thunder went up the drive and napped/spooked. I sternly had him go on for a while but then he spooked (in place) at an uprooted tree and refused to go forward, then began to back up a bit with his neck and back locked up really tight. He didn't actually do anything silly, but he sure felt like he was going to and my nerves were shot by that point so I got off and led him past it. Admittedly there were some tears at this point. I was so frustrated with myself for being nervous on a horse I've known and loved for his entire life, and frustrated with him for being unusually spooky on the day.

It took me a few minutes of walking to realize that I could be a little kinder to both of us. Having me on his back must have felt as weird to him as it felt to me, and my tension transmitted in a way it never used to, maybe because he's more alert, aware and connected to the rider than he used to be. In the same breath, I know him and he knows me. We just need a few rides to find one another again; when I feel bolder, I'll be able to be more confident and assertive. There's no use trying to bluff my way through it. Horses just don't work that way.

Anyway, at the corner of the paddock I got back on and he very happily and politely walked the rest of the way even past some more spooky stuff. J acknowledged that Thunder was being a bit naughty/spooky and that I needed to be more assertive, so that's what we'll work on with our next ride. That and, you know, pushing the new buttons that my horse has all of a sudden.

I gave him a nice shower and a bunch of treats and turned him out feeling a bit bummed that we'd had a few rough moments, but really excited for the potential I feel in him. J asked if he could stay for another month and said the magic words: "then I can show him myself at PSG". I started at him like he'd grown another head. PSG? What sorcery is this? That used to be the pipe dream.

We don't have the budget for another month at boarding school right now, so we've decided to work on sending him back later, when J wants to add in Spanish walk to teach him a proper extended trot and even passage. "Then you'll nearly have a Grand Prix horse," he said, and I guess we have a new pipe dream now.

I was supposed to lesson on Thunder again today but he had his flu shot yesterday which gave him a mild fever like it usually does, so I'll see him next week. Although our lesson was tough, I'm really excited. All we need to get over the nervousness is a bit more time together; he's not doing anything new, we only need to get used to one another again. For the first time ever, I have a schoolmaster, and it's my own boy, my boy who I raised from a tiny little foal. The journey is precious even in its rocky patches.

In other news, our national dressage association is replacing our levels and tests with the American levels and tests, so from January we'll be doing the same tests as you guys - 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th level. Thunder, Arwen and I are graded at Elementary-Medium which is between 2nd and 3rd level, so we'll be allowed to pick which level we want to go into next year. If we go to 3rd level and carry over our current points, it's effectively a little leg-up for us, and we'll be able to show 4th at regional shows anytime from January. To be totally honest, the 3rd level tests are also significantly shorter and easier than our Medium tests, which each have a minimum of 4 flying changes and much more difficult half-passes, so we should earn our points for 4th quite easily, all going according to plan.

I'm so proud of my farm donkey for the level of work he's doing and I really look forward to dipping our toes into the big leagues early next year. Who knows - maybe we'll earn my tailcoat sooner than I thought.

God is very good.